I feel immensely respected as a human being, and honestly? That’s hot.

We go on our first date. You choose a small, intimate restaurant where we converse in hushed tones over candlelight. The chemistry builds between us. It is intense. Palpable. Almost…unbearable. I curl a finger at you from across the table, beckoning you closer.

“I have something to tell you,” I whisper sensually, my heart beating in my chest. I’ve done this so many times before, but every time feels like the first.

“Oh, really?” you say. Your mouth curls devilishly at the thought of what’s to come.

I bite my lip. “I’m…asexual. …


She really appreciates your sacrifice!

Photo Credit: Alexandros Michailidis

“Thank you, George Floyd, for sacrificing your life for justice. For being there to call out to your mom — how, how heartbreaking was that — call out for your mom, ‘I can’t breathe’. Because of you and because of thousands, millions of people around the world who came out for justice, your name will always be synonymous with justice.”Nancy Pelosi

The Titanic

“Thank you, passengers of the RMS Titanic, for sacrificing yourselves in the frozen waters of the North Atlantic Ocean for James Cameron. For being there to call out for lifeboats — how, how heartbreaking was…


By Clare Blackwood

What man doesn’t love a spontaneous woman?

Hey, ladies. If popular culture has taught us anything, it’s that we all know that women love three things: money, men, and crime. And as strong and independent as we are, sometimes a girl needs a man to get the job done, if you know what we mean. That’s why we’ve compiled this list of sexy tips to help spice up your dating life AND your life of crime. Never let society tell you that you can’t have it all!

Date Idea Number One: Surprise Him With Plane Tickets to Monaco

What man doesn’t love a spontaneous…


Oh they’re real alright…

Welcome to True Titillations, where you will find TRUE, sexy stories to delight and amuse, to entrance and seduce.

Here is the spot for that hysterical story of the time you got drunk in Europe, made out with a French guy, and then fell into the Seine because he was just THAT hot, you know?

Or how about when you went to see 50 Shades of Grey with your parents, thinking it was a nice, family-friendly movie about a couple picking out paint colors for their new apartment?

Whatever the tale, if it’s true and sexy, we want it more than we want whipped cream and chocolate, baby.

xoxo


by Clare Blackwood

Sexy clever girl…

Notes on Your Jurassic Park Erotic Novel, “Sex Finds A Way”

Good afternoon, Krista!

Your friendly neighborhood editor here. Thank you so much for turning in the first draft of your new manuscript!

When you informed me in this morning’s email that your newest project was a full-length piece of erotic fiction set in the world of Steven Spielberg’s 1993 blockbuster Jurassic Park, I will admit to being caught off guard, especially considering the fact that your last five published works with us have been fun and educational children’s books about farm animals.

Please don’t get me…


“I truly thought that I missed live theatre, and then I saw this show.” — The New York Times

Photo Credit: Fatih Kilic

“Billed as ‘site-specific, fully immersive, and as artistically necessary as the vaccine,’ Masked to Death: Unprecedented Uncertainty chronicles the artist’s personal pandemic experience, but falters greatly in its believability. The play opens with the question, ‘Your body might be quarantined, but is your mind on lockdown?’, a sentiment I suspect might have been better received had it not been delivered as the actor descended from the ceiling using a giant N95 mask as a parachute.” — New York Stage Review

“I truly thought that I missed live theatre, and then I saw this show.” — The New York Times

“It…


Welcome, late night lovers, to The Smut Corner. It’s good to see you here.

Take a seat by the fire, settle in, and grab a good erotica book — one that will transport you to new heights of adventure, passion, and romance, and tickles your fancies in ways that you never even dared to —

We’re just kidding, of course. As if.

This here page is for the weird, funny stuff. Go read a Harlequin novel if you want to read stories that make sense and take sex SERIOUSLY.

In this library, you’ll find (and write!) the weird, the raunchy…


Get a peek at the founders and editors of The Honeypot Satire!


Who We’re Looking For:

The Honeypot is hungry for writers of all genders, sexualities, ages, and expressions. If you have funny words for us, we have a home for you.

What We’re Looking For:

The Honeypot welcomes comedic and satirical pieces relating to all things sex, relationships, passion, pleasure, dating, and all things in between. Our aim is to foster an inclusive, positive, intersectional space where anyone and everyone can lay bare their deepest, darkest fantasies, desires, and the occasional list about butts. We encourage you to get weird and creative! Have a funny piece about something that literally no…


Honeypot (noun)

Definition:

  1. vagina
  2. spy who uses sex to lure in a target
  3. woman who attracts sexual attention from men
  4. a place to put honey. duh.

The Honeypot is your home for comedic and satirical takes on sex, dating, relationships, and all things passionate. Think of us as Cosmopolitan, but funny and positive. Cosmopositive? Let’s go with that! We publish sexy humour for all, by all, because let’s be honest: we could all stand to laugh at ourselves a little bit more.

We embrace the awkwardness, hilarity, and ups and downs of sex and relationships, AND the sensuality surrounding the…

Clare Blackwood

Canadian actor/writer/comedian; writer for The Beaverton; words in CBC Comedy, McSweeney’s, The Belladonna, etc. Co-Founder of The Honeypot. clareblackwood.com

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