A Sexy Vin Diesel Adventure
EXT. JUNGLE — CORONA HOUR.
VIN DIESEL vaults from the top of a mountain wearing skiis made of sexy bikinis with guns. He is chased by ONE THOUSAND SUITGOONS. The ASIAN SUITGOON knows kung-fu.
This ain’t no race, it’s space family.
The bikini skiis transform into a fire-breathing 1970 Dodge Charger. Vin Diesel slingshots the car upside down off of a jungle jet ski. The Asian Suitgoon karate chops, but he is too late.
I am Groot.
He chainswings from the car to an underwater helicopter. Vin Diesel fucks the helicopter.
Welcome to Bald Zone, baby.
I am your coat, but made of blades.
He fires a shotgun into the SUN, but is interrupted by SUBMARINE BABES. One is the SUN WITCH. She is immortal and kidnaps tattoos for sport.
Your blood shall be mine, Quarter-Mile.
I will Riddick you until your gas is the street.
Race to respect!
Vin Diesel ramps the Sun Witch. He turns to see LL Cool J, who has 500 grenades.
LL COOL J:
I am back from death, yo.
They ride and die until they Tokyo drift to climax.