FIGHT THE SUN WITCH: THE LEGEND OF ANGRY DOM

A Sexy Vin Diesel Adventure

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Photo Credit Aral Tasher

EXT. JUNGLE — CORONA HOUR.

VIN DIESEL vaults from the top of a mountain wearing skiis made of sexy bikinis with guns. He is chased by ONE THOUSAND SUITGOONS. The ASIAN SUITGOON knows kung-fu.

VIN DIESEL

This ain’t no race, it’s space family.

The bikini skiis transform into a fire-breathing 1970 Dodge Charger. Vin Diesel slingshots the car upside down off of a jungle jet ski. The Asian Suitgoon karate chops, but he is too late.

ASIAN GOON

Konnichiwa punch!

VIN DIESEL:

I am Groot.

He chainswings from the car to an underwater helicopter. Vin Diesel fucks the helicopter.

VIN DIESEL:

Welcome to Bald Zone, baby.

HELICOPTER:

I am your coat, but made of blades.

VIN DIESEL:

Jason Statham.

He fires a shotgun into the SUN, but is interrupted by SUBMARINE BABES. One is the SUN WITCH. She is immortal and kidnaps tattoos for sport.

SUN WITCH:

Your blood shall be mine, Quarter-Mile.

VIN DIESEL:

I will Riddick you until your gas is the street.

SUN WITCH:

Race to respect!

Vin Diesel ramps the Sun Witch. He turns to see LL Cool J, who has 500 grenades.

LL COOL J:

I am back from death, yo.

They ride and die until they Tokyo drift to climax.

END

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