FIGHT THE SUN WITCH: THE LEGEND OF ANGRY DOM
A Sexy Vin Diesel Adventure
EXT. JUNGLE — CORONA HOUR.
VIN DIESEL vaults from the top of a mountain wearing skiis made of sexy bikinis with guns. He is chased by ONE THOUSAND SUITGOONS. The ASIAN SUITGOON knows kung-fu.
VIN DIESEL
This ain’t no race, it’s space family.
The bikini skiis transform into a fire-breathing 1970 Dodge Charger. Vin Diesel slingshots the car upside down off of a jungle jet ski. The Asian Suitgoon karate chops, but he is too late.
ASIAN GOON
Konnichiwa punch!
VIN DIESEL:
I am Groot.
He chainswings from the car to an underwater helicopter. Vin Diesel fucks the helicopter.
VIN DIESEL:
Welcome to Bald Zone, baby.
HELICOPTER:
I am your coat, but made of blades.
VIN DIESEL:
Jason Statham.
He fires a shotgun into the SUN, but is interrupted by SUBMARINE BABES. One is the SUN WITCH. She is immortal and kidnaps tattoos for sport.
SUN WITCH:
Your blood shall be mine, Quarter-Mile.
VIN DIESEL:
I will Riddick you until your gas is the street.
SUN WITCH:
Race to respect!
Vin Diesel ramps the Sun Witch. He turns to see LL Cool J, who has 500 grenades.
LL COOL J:
I am back from death, yo.
They ride and die until they Tokyo drift to climax.
END
